Thoughts on sleep

(a transcript)

I think I associate a lot of things with sleep. My duvet, of course. My – a very dark room. Blacked out. Lights – not a single ray of light. Nightmares and how as like a teenager or even older, I would put off going to sleep. Sleep felt productive. It’s something that I want but it’s something that I never really get to my satisfaction. Something was getting sorted out. I think this is just me being crazy but – um, rainfall. I would associate it with like just not wanting to get into bed. Here we go again I’m about to get into bed. Because of that, I associate sleep with not getting enough rest and. And I wouldn’t know why. I would just like – I just knew I wouldn’t want to go to sleep. So all in all, sleep feels like – yeah it feels like a –

Some kind of time waste

I just think of nightmares

Not a happy thing to do

It doesn’t really feel like this cozy experience that a lot of people say it is

And Bolaji’s chest – my husband’s chest

I guess?

When I wake up it’s not like ‘aw I’m waking up from a nice sleep’

It’s more like

‘Fuck’s sake here’s another day

Now I have to get on with it’.